Wednesday, May 18, 2011
This past Mother's Day Felicity and I participated in a 9k in Boulder,CO. It was a great way to celebrate the day and spend time with my most favorite people ever, Hubby and my kiddos.
I have not run since high school track. Which I might add I did for only one year and was no good at. I have never enjoyed running. I have always thought that it was too much work and people were semi-crazy to just do it for fun.
So you might ask what possessed me to do a 9 almost 10 k?(That is 6.2miles) I'm still kinda asking myself that question. However the results have been worth any temporary insanity that I may or may not have experienced.
I found out about it through Tami a wonderful new friend that we have made here. She and her husband Jeff lead our weekly life group up in Evergreen, CO.
She put out an invite to anyone who might want to do it with her. So me being a spontaneous girl, I said why not! I gave little thought to the fact that I would have 3 short weeks to go from sure I know what 9k stands for to participating in one. What training would look like or that my 11 year old would want to jump on the band wagon and do it with me.
I started jogging in the evenings and quickly remembered why I thought all those other people I saw running around in their spandex were mildly disturbed. I was now one of them. (Minus the spandex)
Over the few short weeks before the big day I thought I was going to die. No really. Especially after I went with Tami and some other wonderful ladies from our life group to run stairs at Red Rocks amphitheater. I had never been there before. So while most people think of it as a place to relax, enjoy some good music, and have a good time. I see it as a place where crazies go to torture themselves for fun. Again, yes I am now one of them. How did this happen? Still wondering. I know I am.
Even though every time I ran or did cross training I was in much discomfort, I began to slowly realize that I was doing it! I was running, and getting stronger and stronger. I was overcoming something that just weeks before I thought I could never accomplish.
I mentioned before that I had done high school track and had not done well in it. That is really an understatement. I was terrible at it. In our small school anyone who went out for a sport made it. I wanted to do track because some of my friends did. I went out for it, made it, and really stunk at it. There is a level of humiliation that goes with being the worst at something. When you're young and trying to find out who you are, it can give you really wrong ideas about who you are.
These wrong ideas can be the devils tools to lie to us. It is the devils job to lie to us about who God made us to be. He is really good at his job. The thing is no matter how good he is at it, we still don't have to believe him. In fact, it is a very destructive thing when we do. It holds us back from all that God has for us. This is what I am learning right now.
One of the things that God had been working out in myself for some time is the fear of failing. It is a gripping fear that I have had for a long time. There have been many things that I have not done things because I was so afraid to fail, afraid to disappoint, afraid that I would not be good enough. These are nothing but the devils lies, and I no longer believe them.
These past few months God has been putting some of those things back in my heart. Things that I have given up on because I was too afraid to try and possibly fail. What I am now choosing to believe is that my accomplishments or failures don't define me. They do not change who God created me to be, or make Him love me any less.
On May 8th 2011, Felicity and I completed a 9.6k together. If was a great experience. I didn't realize at the time that God was using a possible moment of insanity to bring me closed to Him and show me what He has for me.
I know there is more to this journey. I am looking forward to what amazing things are ahead.